Lolly Jar
by Special Agent Black Storm
Summary: It might not be your average case...but since when were Lolly Shop Murders average..this one is bound to bring Alex and Bobby closer.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I also don't own the one line that is from Blue Heelers  
  
Author Notes: I just decided to write this because it's been in my head all day and refuses to go!  
  
Of all the usual people and animals I usually thank and talk crap about, I really think that all the credit goes to Black Storm!!!  
  
I'd also like to know where he gets his Winter Coat. It's so damn warm. (Actually, I think I t just comes with him when you get him!) Please Review  
  
********* Deakins Office. ********* "Who stole what from the Lolly Jar." Eames asked.  
  
"Yes who stole the Lolly Jar."  
  
"Who did what steal." Goren said confused. " I mean, er, who stole what from the Lolly Jar."  
  
"I'll explain later ok? But you have to go." Deakins said, exasperated.  
  
"So you are telling me that we HAVE to go to the Lolly Jar?" Bobby Goren asked impatiently.  
  
"Yes, Goren I am telling you HAVE to go to the Lolly Jar."  
  
"But why boss. We already have a case." Alexandra Eames whined in perfect timing with her partner Goren.  
  
"Do you two practice that thing?"  
  
"What thing?" They chorused, knowing full well what 'WHAT' was, but trying to get the captain to forget about their assignment.  
  
"THAT thing."  
  
"Thing, thing?" Alex inquired at her partner innocently.  
  
"Thing, thing, thing, thing."  
  
"Thing, thing, thong. What the hell?" Deakins started, getting very tongue- tied. "Anyway the bottom line is you have to go to the Lolly Jar."  
  
"But why?" Alex protested. " We already have a case, why not leave any old candy store to any old ten-year old."  
  
"Yes Eames, and you have had too many cases lately. Since you only got your new case this morning, I'm giving you an easier case."  
  
"What ever but Alex is right, why a candy store, why us, I mean can't."  
  
"Because, Detective first-grade I'm the captain of this squad and I'm telling you to get your skinny, little ass out there!"  
  
"My ass ain't skinny, Deakins. If you ever looked, it's slim!" Alex took the remark as an insult.  
  
"Sorry Eames, but just get your asses out there."  
  
"You know captain, I was reading through the departmental codes just last night, and there is a little section that says detectives have a right to refuse a case without reasonable details of their new cases." Bobby smirked, thanking god he had read the handbook the previous night.  
  
"Fine, ok." Deakins raised his hands in an exasperated fashion " There was a crime committed last night at the Lolly Jar.  
  
"Yeah, but is something dead?"  
  
"Detective!"  
  
"Yes. Sorry sir. I know. But is there?"  
  
"Yes, but there is no direct linkage."  
  
" Yeah, well then get Homicide or Special Victims to handle it! I mean we don't handle jelly babies shot in the head, or brutally raped snakes!" Alex ranted getting a bit desperate now. She just wanted to get out of there.  
  
"No detectives, no brutalized milk bottles or any of that crap you were on about. We were called, as this was a very intriguing case. You will notice that I said something is dead, and that THING is the goldfish in the tank." Deakins said, a tad pissed, but surprised at the pair's togetherness  
  
" But that's not what is so interesting. The thing is, the owner of the Lolly Jar happens to be a friend of mine, and told me that there was a break in. All the massive glass jars of sweets or the Australian term lollies as the name of the shop suggests, have been smashed, but no glass recovered, just a layer of jelly beans and sweets 1 m thick."  
  
"Shame for all that to go to waste." Robert commented  
  
"Yes. My pals name is Cherry Pop." He was once again interrupted, this time by a massive guffaw by his detectives collapsing and wriggling around like worms on the floor.  
  
"Detectives!" Deakins exclaimed impatiently.  
  
"Yes boss?" Alex managed to choke out from her fetal position on the floor.  
  
"Can you stop auditioning for Sour worms the production!"  
  
He was never actually answered, only by a fit of laughter, so he continued.  
  
" I mean I can just see it. ' Sour Worms, The production.' Starring Alexandra Eames and Robert Goren."  
  
"I won't forget to send you Christmas Cards!" Bobby jeered from the floor. Alex just hooted with laughter.  
  
"What am I going to do with you two?"  
  
"Fire the rest of the squad, and send us two down to the Lolly Jar for some...Sour Snakes!" The last part Alex's voice joined Bobby.  
  
Deakins feigned horror, and found this was the perfect time to use a line he had picked up from a tape that Cherry had bought over from 'Down Under'. "And leave me with two dueling dipsticks constantly trying to set each other up!"  
  
"You watch Blue Heelers, boss?" Alex asked in shock.  
  
Deakins sighed. " Alright, I will rephrase that, and leave me with two dueling dipsticks constantly trying to set ME up!"  
  
"SHUT UP Deakins!" The two chorused, then promptly collapsed in to giggles.  
  
"Ok, enough bullshit, I want your asses on seats and listening!"  
  
"Yes, yes sorry boss!"  
  
!*!*!*!*!*!*! By the way, here is what was actually said in the episode.  
  
Constable Jo Parish: I reckon she ran away to get away from those two. Boss/Senior Sergeant Tom Croydon: And leave us with two dueling dipsticks constantly trying to set each other up. I don't think so. Constable Jo Parish: But. Boss/Senior Sergeant Tom Croydon: SHUT UP PARISH!  
  
That was just the beginning! Tell me what you think. Please review, it helps me write. 


	2. Jelly Bean Buffet!

A/N: I don't know how funny you thought it was but I thought it was pretty damn hilarious!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In the SUV.  
  
"I still don't get how ended up with this assignment, anyway?" Bobby was already complaining.  
  
"Well, basically, I oh so charmingly made him promised he would do our paper work." Alex said innocently.  
  
"Oh that's right, you threatened him. You said that he would tell the entire floor including Mrs. Mack the rumor mill, that he sleeps with a teddy bear." A tad sarcastically. " I have to hand it to you though Alex, it really worked!"  
  
"Course it did Bobby, what else would you expect of me?"  
  
"I'm not going to answer that!"  
  
"Look, just think of it as a sugar buffet. I mean Deakins is doing our paperwork, we are getting paid to investigate this, and Cherry wants us to clear this up and is paying us by sweets and said we could eat what we wanted. Surely not every single Jelly baby is a victim and milk bottles aren't evidence!"  
  
"I'm beginning to see it your way." Goren said. " I sure hope that Medicare is going to cover out medical bills if we get diabetes."  
  
********* Lolly Jar.  
  
"I used to love Starburst jelly beans. They were the best. Wonder if Cherry has any?"  
  
"Starbursts?"  
  
"Yeah, jelly beans. I lived in Australia for about 10 years. Seriously Goren you need to get out more! The jelly beans here taste like crap. Literally."  
  
"No I don't I work my butt off every day anyway. And have you ever tasted crap?"  
  
"No, but I've tasted stuff that I evaluated as crap. An example being American jellybeans. I'll treat you to some day."  
  
"Whatever". By now, Goren had switched to 'serious cop mode.' But found it to be too hard to stay too serious. It was just so funny, and every seemed so light and carefree. He voiced his opinions to Alex, who was beside him observing his changes.  
  
"I agree. But I mean what's so dark about a dead goldfish?" Alex said.  
  
"You're right." Bobby said. Then drifted a bit off tracks. " I wonder if Deakins would let me do an autopsy on our victim, and interrogate it physically, even though it's a, dead, b, I don't speak fish language, and c, it only has 3 second memory. So as soon as I tell the darn fish my name, it won't even remember!"  
  
"Gross Goren!" Eames shuddered. Why am I so fond of him? She wondered. He could be sweet and kind when he wanted, but sometimes he was downright weird.  
  
Just then, a middle aged lady walked out to them.  
  
"Hi. You must be Bobby and Alex. I am Cherry. You work with James don't you?" With an decidedly Aussie accent.  
  
"Yes, ma'am." Bobby said.  
  
"Forget the formal slang ok? I am no fan of it. I am just glad James is handling this for me. You are allowed to eat as much as you want. I need some of this gone anyway!"  
  
Alex felt right at home with this woman. She beamed and said. " Cherry, I think I'm going to like you. Not many cases feed us and tell us to, what was it." She tried to think back to her days in Australia when she was 8. " Bugger off with the slang."  
  
"You lived in Australia, I take it at sometime or another."  
  
"Yes, I did, how did you know I didn't just research it?" Alex asked curious.  
  
"It takes someone who has lived in Oz, to pick up that line and use it." Cherry explained.  
  
" Hmm. Never though of the line that way."  
  
Bobby interjected. " So that's why you kept saying bugger through out your cases with Nicole."  
  
"Yeah, she really hit a nerve. I'm Australian, it was actually quiet uncomfortable watching someone like that." Alex said a little sadly. " That's why I was so quiet."  
  
"Well, we aren't here to make short talk. Let's take a look!" Bobby said.  
  
**************** Inside Lolly Jar.  
  
"You weren't kidding when you told us someone needed some of this gone, were you?" Bobby said, when he saw it.  
  
"Don't worry, Goren here eats a lot."  
  
"What is I happen to be diabetic?" Goren challenged.  
  
"Humph! Hadn't thought of that."  
  
"Obviously, but I'm not." Turning to the storeowner, he asked. " Cherry, would you like us to use gloves?"  
  
"You might want to. Isn't it procedure anyway. We had to use them, or the boss usually hunted us down. It's damn hard convincing a jury that you forgot to wear gloves."  
  
" You a copper? Let me guess, Kingsway police." Alex asked.  
  
"You got it. The one and only!" Cherry replied.  
  
Bobby cleared his throat. He was feeling a bit left out. He had already weighed out everything. Something bad was going to happen, but he didn't think it would be really bad. Let's see. Paperwork. Deakins. Lollies. Free, courtesy of Cherry.Glass. None, or not yet. Who would want to take the glass anyway?  
  
"Sorry Bobby. Ok just one more question. ON a more personal note. Got any starbursts?"  
  
"Sure. My specialty! Solve this, I'll supply them for you!"  
  
"Deal!" Alex said happily.  
  
~*~*~*~* Mmmm. I was stressed and low in blood sugar level, so I decided to make it go up by writing a story about lollies.  
  
Please review. They are sweet. :D LOL 


	3. Author's note

Author's Note:  
  
Dear Readers.  
  
I know a lot of you are confused over my last chapter(chapter two) so I will try to clear it up a little bit.  
  
Basically, it was a little scene that happened in Deakins's office, which was rather childish and stupid. Lolly Jar is a candy shop owned by a former Australian cop, who is a friend of Deakins. It is a bit confusing throughout the whole story. You have gotten your warning. But the humour and the comments made by the characters are the point, and not so much the plot as this little story does not really have a plot. There will be a tiny bit of crazy romance thrown in. Just telling you all this so you understand the story a bit more and I don't keep getting reviews to clear up!  
  
However if you still don't understand the story, (most likely you won't) please just tell me and I will explain to you further.  
  
Author, Black Storm  
  
P.S Please R&R 


	4. Candy Swimming erm Crawling!

Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
A/N: Here we go again. It's the holidays. And once again my sugar level is .. Off the scale.  
  
~*~*~*~*~ "Cherry. One question. How the hell do we get in?" Bobby asked. It was a question that couldn't be avoided. The store was like packed.  
  
"WELL. Good news is, I have a door at the back, and the area has no lollies, because there is a door that connects the back room to the front of the store. Bad news is. Because I barely ever use it, and it isn't actually a door. It is sort of but. Okay. It's a door, but it looks more like a decorated pannel of a wall. To find the keyhole, I have to find the right combination of places to push." Cherry said, before continuing.  
  
"And there's more. The previous owner, didn't actually make it a door, just the top half of the door is on hinges, you either squeeze through there or get the key if you've forgotten it. At least I haven't been able to open it."  
  
"Alright, let's go see the door, panel thing." Goren stated. A plan already forming. It involved, Alex, opening the top half of the door, a boost up and probably an unceremonious thump when a certain someone hit the ground.  
  
The three got to the back. The door was stunning, carved out of wood, with an intricate pattern. Unfortunately, Cherry hadn't brought along the combination so they had to try some things.  
  
On the door, was a horse that's head was on the top half of the door, and a bottom-half of a stall (Dutch) door closed on the bottom, it had an engraved handle. In front of the door of the stall, were many carvings of flowers, grass and trees all engraved. The horse was wearing a halter, and you could see a haynet.  
  
It was Alex who spoke up first. "Obviously, the last owner loved horses."  
  
"Yes. Mr. Emerson was rather fond of them." Cherry replied.  
  
Finally they had the right combination. Oddly, it involved, Goren pushing on the haynet, Alex twisting flowers and Cherry sticking a key in the horse's nose.  
  
So they had the door open, on the top half of it anyway. They discussed who was going in. Bobby was out of the question. " There is no way I am going to fit into there." He had stated.  
  
The store owner had said that she had hurt her back the other day, which was true, as Bobby had noticed her limp. The two evicted candidates turned their gazes on the remaining choice.  
  
Alex squirmed under their scrutiny and squeaked " No way guys. I'm not going. I um.. hurt my ankle last night when I slipped in the shower."  
  
"Yeah right Alex. Come on."  
  
"Nooo!" Alex wailed and starts to run. They are near a strip of lawn, and Goren is quick on her heels and catches her. Cherry looks on amused.  
  
"Are you two always like this?"  
  
" Not me. But him." Alex scowled and frowned at her partner. " Hell yes."  
  
"Come on Alex. Just please." Goren wheedled. He gave Eames his patented puppy-dog, I'm-desperate-for-a-case-look-have-pity, I-can't-help-it-if-I'm- tall, Suck-shit, and I'm-really-sorry look. He knew that Alex was weakening, Cherry could see that too.  
  
"OR else Detective Eames, I will tell every distributor of Starburst Jelly beans around, including my employees, NOT to supply you with jelly beans."  
  
With that, fearing she would loose her mind without Starbursts', Alex relented. But pondered on how they were going to get her over. They formulated a plan, and decided once she was over, she would got to the front and see she could sort things out at the front for Goren to get in.  
  
"Ok, partner let's do it." Alex said through gritted teeth. "Oh and Cherry, you are a witness, if I fall and kill myself, do tell Deakins that it was Bobby's fault would you?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Bobby spoke up. "Not going to happen. Ok up and over."  
  
Alex placed a foot in the stirrup that Goren's hands had formed and wormed her way in, at one stage hanging up side down.  
  
As Goren had predicted, soon after Alex was hanging upside down, there was an unceremonial "Shit!"  
  
"You alright there Alex?" Bobby giggled, feeling slightly guilty now.  
  
"Shut up Goren."  
  
"I'm sorry." Bobby apologized.  
  
"You should be. I'm going out front now."  
  
"OK."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Gingerly, Alex made her way to the main part of the store. What Cherry had descibed from the outside was pretty much identical to the scene inside. She debated how she was going to do get to the door. In the end, she just decided to crawl here way across.  
  
She called Goren on her cell.  
  
"Bobby, the doorway, it's fairly clear, although it was a good idea Cherry didn't open it. I'm going to wedge a box near the door so when the door opens, the box will push the sweets back."  
  
"OK. I'm ready if you are."  
  
"Oh and ask Cherry how the A/C works."  
  
Bobby hangs up and gets a reply.  
  
They get in without an incident, the two deciding it was a good idea for Cherry to remain outside should they get into trouble.  
  
"Oh My GOD!!"  
  
!*!*!*!8  
  
I had to stop. I was falling asleep at the keys! 


End file.
